New Year's resolutions.

I never make them. I don't see why the start of a year should be the time to change things. You can change anything you want at any time. That's what I try to do. When things go sideways I try to change them as soon as I see it happen. I make that sound so easy. It's not. The trick is to notice things going bad and because they usually happen slowly we hardly notice. We make plans and start with good intentions but most of it never happens because we slip back into old habits. They're habits because they are easy and all creatures like easy. But easy is usually what we are used to, not what is best for us. Else I would have told my mother to leave me alone a long time ago. I've tried to keep her happy, or less miserable, for a long time. It determined most of my actions and because of it I was unable to lead my own life. I didn't know what I wanted at all. I started working on that about 4 years ago. The first revolutionary thing I did was buy myself some gloves. It was winter and I would walk everywhere and my fingers would be freezing but I felt like I wasn't worth the 2 euro's for a pair of the simplest gloves. It was a huge gesture. A symbolic act. It was a start.


So here I am, 4 years later. I'm healthy, a lot happier and less depressed. I have a nice place of my own that really feels like a home. I have plenty of friends. I have lots of work to do though most of it is unpaid but they are things I love to do so that's okay. But still, I'm not sure what I want in life. What I really want. Where I want to be 10 years from now. Most people have some sort of idea of what their lives should look like by then. Where they will live, with who, what they will be doing work wise. I don't know. I really don't. But I have been thinking and have come up with some sort of idea of where I want to be in about 5 years. Nothing concrete though. It's more general and about how I want to feel. How I want to look at life. But there is no point in saying you want to change your life if you don't set up a plan and take action. So I have set up a list of things to do for 2013. I'll share it with you. Maybe you can get some inspiration from it.


* Cook a recipe from a cook book once a week to find new flavors and ideas.
* Read more about why food is or isn't healthy.
* Limit unhealthy foods to one day a month which a plan ahead.
* Start doing tai chi and Yin Yoga.
* Look for ways to fall asleep faster so I don't spend so much time in bed thinking.
* Meditate.
* Make a bucket list and try to do something from that list at least once a month.
* Get my Carpe Jugulum tattoo as a reminder to live my life for myself.
* Paint.
* Draw. Don't get upset if it doesn't look like much at first. Keep at it. It will get better.
* Be more open to my friends about how I feel.
* Hug more.
* Write, about anything and everything that I find worth writing about.
* Continue to teach and improving my teaching skills.
* Read.
* Don't think too much: act.


So there it is. My list of things to do for the time to come. And that time starts now, not in 3 weeks. If you want to change things in your life, and I do, the time to start acting accordingly is now. So I am going to get me a nice cup of tea and the book I borrowed from a friend last week and do a bit of reading before I head to the kitchen.

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