Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Who's being stupid and selfish here?

Someone I know posted this on facebook a few days ago.

Gisteren meteen vanuit mijn werk met de trein naar Den Haag geweest voor een belangrijk document te halen en daarna rechtstreeks door naar Pijnacker (zoetermeer) voor een heerlijk dagje sauna..........Nu denk iedereen "heerlijk toch"......klopt in zovere maar nu komt het de terug reis met de trein :-( arme NS gisteren was blijkbaar een Doomsday in Nederland, we hadden meerdere vertragingen en miste daardoor meerdere overstap treinen omdat er 4 mensen willekeurig van elkaar en op verschillende plaatsen voor de trein zijn gesprongen en waarvan 3 vrijwel in de route die wij dus terug moesten nemen :-(.............wat bezielt zulke mensen toch om voor de trein te springen en daardoor die arme machinist en die gene die het moeten opruimen zo een trauma te bezorgen ...........soms doen mensen dingen die ongelooflijk stom en egoïstische zijn.............maargoed en daardoor gisteren pas om 0 uur thuis en vannacht slecht geslapen ....zucht verslapen en een collega laten wachten voor naar CW :-( ........nu maar weer het dagelijkse dingen oppakken en strijken en koken .............FB vrienden fijne dag nog

Rough English translation by google translate:
Yesterday directly from work I took the train to Den Haag to pick up an important document and then directly to Pijnacker (Zoetermeer) for a lovely day sauna .......... Now everyone thinks  "sounds lovely."  ..... ttrue so far, but now comes the return journey by train :-( poor NS yesterday was apparently a Doomsday in the Netherlands, we had several delays and missed several train switches because there were 4 people at random from each other and different places who jumped in front of a train, including 3 practically on our route back home :-( ............. what inspires such people anyway, to jump in front of a train and therefore traumatizing that poor driver and the ones who have to clean up ........... sometimes people do things that are incredibly stupid and selfish ............. but anyway and therefore we only got home at 0 hours home yesterday and slept badly last night .... sigh overslept and wait for a colleague to CW :-( ........ now to pick up the everyday things  and ironing and cooking ... FB friends ..........have a nice day

I hardly know where to begin. I told him it was disrespectful and he changed his post to something that he thought was less bad but to me seemed equally narrow minded. I did not respond to that one. I didn't see the point. It made me really angry and sad at the same time. Someone else responded to his post as well, agreeing it was selfish and stupid etc. I don't understand how people can react like that. Someone felt so horrible that they felt the need to do something as desperate as that and they bitch about their trains running late? I've heard loads of people make these complaints. Someone decided the Dutch railway needed to clarify delays and now when someone jumps it's all over the boards: delay due to collision with a person. Sure, now we can't blame the NS (Dutch railway) for the delay but come one. Do they really have to spread out the sorrow like that, make everyone part it? I wonder if they have any idea how many people feel sick the rest of the day because of hearing something like that. When you think about it, it's not easy to hear at all. Someone was in pain, so much pain they decided to end their lives, and they wanted to be 100% sure they would succeed. Someone lost a son or a daughter. Someone lost a sibling, a loved one, a classmate, a college, a neighbor. And people sit in the train, sighing, I'm going to be home late and I'm hungry damnit! Why can't they just go and kill themselves at home? You wouldn't believe the things I've heard people say. I hardly believe it. Sometimes it takes quite a lot not to just punch them in the face.

There are two main reasons why this bothers me a lot. One is the fact that people don't seem to connect to each other anymore, which is probably also one of the reasons for some of the suicides. People think only about themselves. They don't think about helping each other. They don't see each other people's pain, or even when they do see it they don't feel inclined to do something about it. As long as it doesn't interfere with their daily lives they simply don't care. Stephen Jones said it on his album Almost Cured of Sadness in one of the interludes:
sadness does not have a home, you come home from a hard days work, the last thing you want to be confronted with is sadness, you want happiness at all cost, i don't care what you have to say, you tell me you just lost someone, people really don't give a shit, they want to hear a new song or something on TV, asshole, thats what it is, sadness does not have a home.

And it's true. We just want to watch what ever is hip and happening now. Bite sized entertainment. No personal connection. We watch the Barbie dolls parade around on TV and pretend we can all be like that if we just put on a plastic smile. We are losing our humanity. If you don't want people jumping in front of your train so you're late for the next America's Next Topmodel, maybe you should pay a bit more attention to the people around you and their needs. Maybe we should be a bit more courteous every now and then. Maybe we should say "sorry, are you okay?" next time we bump into someone instead of just thinking about ourselves and bitching at them. Maybe, if we had a minute of silence for the person who passed away on the trains instead of just the announcement that yes, we're all gonna be late for dinner, maybe there would be less people hurting. It might not seem like much, but if you pile up all the little things they become big things. The little things can sometimes make or ruin your day. Imagine what that could do on a larger scale.

The other thing is that I have been there. I never had the courage to jump in front of a train, else I wouldn't be here. And yes, it takes serious balls to do something like that. Imagine what kind of hell someone must be in to do something like that. But I have attempted suicide when I was younger, several times actually, up until my late 20's. I know to some extend how those people feel.  I have many friends who have been at that point and some whom I fear for still. I had a narrow escape and got lucky. I worked very hard to get out of that and there were times I didn't think I would make it. I still have bad days every now and then and wonder what the point to it all really is. But I keep fighting and things have gotten better. I will always keep on fighting. I can't do it alone though. I need a little help from my friends, colleges, teachers etc. And from people who bump into my in the streets and say sorry and ask if I'm okay instead of giving me an angry look telling me I'm in the way and shouldn't be there. So yes, that's you. When was the last time you held a door open for someone? When did you last pick something up for someone else when they dropped it right in front of you? When did you last say thank you and have a good day to someone working in a store? Have you ever said hello to the cleaning lady at all? These are small things that we all can do. They may seem meaningless but when you are in a bad place, it's little things like this that can help you hold on a little longer and decide that yes, life is worth fighting for. And for those who are not depressed, it would still make your day a whole lot sunnier, now wouldn't it?


No comments:

Post a Comment