So what happens to Noodweer? We need to take a look at what we want, what we want it to mean, what we want to do for people, and how we would want to achieve that. I'm not sure yet how this will take shape. It will take some time to re-evaluate everything that has happened and also to get over our loss. I'm sure Chris and I will collaborate again in the future but right now we need a bit of a breather.This didn't just happen yesterday so I have had some time to think. I have been thinking a lot about that I want to do with my life in general lately. I had been making plans to go abroad for a while; move to Japan and see if I would have more luck there with my artwork. But then I realized it's hard to get visa so I started looking for easy ways to get one. And then I started looking at courses and job options and before I knew it all these things were no longer about art. Losing Noodweer made me realize that art really is the most important thing in my life and my main focus should really be on my art. I keep losing myself in distractions and I'm not getting anywhere with my career as an artist. I need to stop doing that. I would still love to go to Japan for a while. I love to travel anyway and I would really like to again. But it's not something I should pursue in a way that means sacrificing my art. I need to start taking my work seriously. If I don't, no one else will. Why is this so hard? Because it's got my blood, sweat and tears in it. It's my hopes and dream, my fears and nightmares. My soul. And having that rejected is the hardest thing there is. There is no way I can make it as an artist without going through a lot of rejection first and that part really, really sucks. I'm dreading that part. I know how hard it is going to be as I have tried it before and didn't make it. But this time I feel like I am ready and somehow the idea of succeeding is starting to get scary as well. What do I do then? I know it's way to early to start worrying about that. I still have a long way to go. It's time to take a deep breath and dive in.