My low testosterone levels do make me wonder. I don't look like it. I mean, I'm pretty strong and all. I hope this means I am very receptive to testosterone and will be getting results really quick. Time will tell.
I only got started yesterday so I'm not noticing anything yet. I am slightly nauseous which can be a side effect but it could also be stress. I mean, this is a big deal, no matter how cool I may act. I also didn't sleep very well. I was really restless. Could be the T, could also be anticipation. This morning, while I was teaching BodyBump, my barbell felt really light though but I did have trouble focusing. Again, no way to tell what that means. Right now, I'm tempted to read into everything. I really need to restrain myself. I should start noticing something within a few weeks though. Something. There are guidelines for what to expect but they are not rules. It's different for everyone. Usually the voice starts acting funky pretty quickly which is going to be a lot of fun while teaching. I can just see myself squeaking while I'm trying to help people push through those last single presses in the shoulder track. Fun fun fun. But it will pass. Things will get better and I can finally be myself.
Writing that last sentence makes me realize how much I am still putting my life on hold. There are still so many things I don't do because I feel I can't because my body is holding me back. But that's not true. During BodyPump I sometimes remind people of that. Can or can't are thing that live inside your head. If you tell yourself you can't do those last few reps then you will fail. If you tell yourself: I can do this and I will, then you can and you will. This is true for a lot of things in life. Many more then we think. But it's so much easier to think we can't because then we don't have to fail. We don't even try. It's safer. But I am done being safe. I tried to play it safe most of my life and all it got me was misery. No more. It's time to start saying: yes I can! So here I go. I can do this.